Lately everyone is feeling down, i don't know why we have this feeling. Too bad we're humans and have to live with it through be it sad or happy. Trust me, i will make this go away. I will try my every means to make it go away even if to see you laugh. Cause the feeling is killing everyone, i have no one to laugh with. I strike because of her, she is the only one who can set me at ease. I won't have to worry or cry, i make my own happiness. But i'm afraid for one thing, i can't console anyone. I bad with my words, i may blurt the wrong things so don't expect sympathy from me. I'm really so bad. One moment, i'm thinking that my parents are dead another minute i'm making use of them. I'm so heartless, when they don't have a heart each. I got to be flexible. Lately, my mood just shoots up, i'm trying to control. I will be shouting like an old aunty, loud and fierce. Sometimes, i think i'm going to die. I think have cancer, i don't know. What if it's really going to end, and i may not be able to cherish my moments. It's been 5 days without each other, finally caught up with him but he had to rush off with his friend. Msg him late at night, and we're talking about 'stuffs'. It's fun to tease him, when both of us blush. Even if it hurts, i won't bring myself down.
Chao 11.23pm

OK, we came in First for the inter-school badminton, Lichfield. It was quite great as i played Double with Fionia, we were not the best though. My captain told me to play single but i gave it up. I lost all my skills, and nearly forget how to play as it has been 2 years since i last played. Primary school it was fun playing with our teacher, Mdm Choo, she trained us as there were no coach. I onced remember we came Fourth in North zone, it was a great experience. Now, my whole body is aching as i'm missing my primary school teachers. Sometimes i find it to be weird, or am i the one weird. I do things my way and you can find me a nuisance, nagging early in the morning. I'm the one who's always at fault but i keep quiet, believe it? My body is not normal, i'm so sick physically and emotionally. Deep down, there are many things so wrong and i can't help it cause i can't stand it. There are many mysteries and yet to be solved. I can't concentrate in class, and its not about BGR, there are somethings to be understood. I didn't want to get hurt and make things worse. I'm getting more lazy, i do things at my pace not looking at the time. I really can't help it, my body is not normal and i'm not like anyone. I'm fighting a disease which my body can't cope with, not serious it has something to do with my heart. Floorball training was fun as we had physical training, it's been long since i ran that much. I didn't get to play the games as there were too many teams. Coach met me at the end of the training and asked me why i didn't get or didn't want to play, i was scared cus i thought she would scold me. It really was not scolding but somehow when i was talking to her, i felt scared and nearly breakdown. I emo in the training session and all the way to home. I guess i am really so TIRED, i really am and i can't stand it cause it is always ruining up my plans. It's been a week since i last met him and i miss him. I'm off.
Chao 9.37pm